


hold onto your breath (don't make a noise)

by nabibighani



Category: BTOB
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Hanahaki Disease, but here we are, i wish i didn't write this, lapslock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:14:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23676685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nabibighani/pseuds/nabibighani
Summary: in which it pains sungjae to even look at changsub, and that's okay.
Relationships: Lee Changsub/Yook Sungjae
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12





	hold onto your breath (don't make a noise)

**Author's Note:**

> hanahaki is a fictional disease that has always fascinated me. if anyone is curious, more information about it can be read [here](https://fanlore.org/wiki/Hanahaki_Disease)!

sungjae stares at the rose petals surrounding him on his bed. blue roses. sungjae smiles bitterly as he remembers what blue roses meant. it reminds him of changsub's voice: light, melancholic, beautiful. he gathers them easily in his huge hands, chucks them in the bin beside his bedside table and wonders when he started being so used to waking up with pieces of flowers in his mouth and stalks of roses pressing against his throat, threatening to destroy his vocal cords forever.

it's been four months since it happened. four months since he realized with a painful jolt that he was - is, Sungjae corrects himself - in love with lee changsub as the older held sungjae near to his chest, whispering comforting words in an attempt to stop his panic attacks. his feelings blossomed into something he cannot control, like a monster taking root in his heart. and yet, he sits there, cradling it closer to him until it decides to devour him whole.

he really should have known better.

he coughs up some more petals directly into the bin and closes it. he'll throw them out later when no one has to notice. no one has to know. no one has to know that somewhere in his lungs, there are fully grown flowers slowly killing him from the inside out, planting roots in his bones and finding home in his organs until they tear through his skin, spilling from his ears and covering his eyes. like death. or graveyard soil.

no one has to know. especially not changsub.

**Author's Note:**

> you can yell at me [here](https://twitter.com/sookyungjae)


End file.
